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Sa Kumbento ni PadrePio

Abandon sanity, all ye who enter.

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humor

To Problem or Not to Problem

Is ‘problem’ a verb?

Yes, if you’re in the Philippines. It’s a kind of Filipinoism that is generally accepted in informal conversations. There’s a popular saying that goes: ‘Don’t problem your problem. Let your problem problem your problem.’ The use of ‘problem’ as a verb, however, is frowned upon in formal writing and would probably get you a failing grade if you include it in your college essay.

But now, to the million-dollar question…

Should we problem our problem? Continue reading “To Problem or Not to Problem”

Ay, Shooting Star! or How to Build Up Suspense in a Story

First, let me tell you that this is not about sex. In fact, you’ll read about sex until the fifth sentence only. As always, this is about writing. But let’s have the sex rolling first.

Rex, of the male sex (There you go, the sex stops here.) and a freshman high school student, has been fantasizing about Lisa since they were classmates in elementary school. Although he still doesn’t understand the feeling, or even why he’s feeling it, one thing he knows is that looking at Lisa makes him ‘real hard’. What is unclear though is how he becomes ‘real hard’ when ogling at Lisa.

‘Gee, I don’t know,’ Rex confesses to Blas, his classmate. ‘It really makes me real hard. Like. . . real hard, you know.”

Blas doesnt know. And neither do I.

Now picture this, if you may. Continue reading “Ay, Shooting Star! or How to Build Up Suspense in a Story”

The King’s Dagger

“Booo… boo… heeeeeee…. mmmmmmooooooonnnnndddddd!!!!!!”

A piercing cry tore the night’s golden silence, waking up the king’s personal guard from his stolen sleep. A few moments passed by and the silhouette of a woman tiptoed out of the king’s bedroom. Before the guard could react, she was gone in an instant, swallowed by the darkness. Fearing for the worst, he rushed to the king’s room.

“My lord! Are you alri–”

“I’m perfectly alright, Sancho my man,” the king, who was very much alive — and very naked to boot — interrupted him.

“But that was–!”

“My enemy, the Queen, yes.” King Bohemond cut him off for the second time, waving a hand. “She came here with a poisoned dagger in her bosom, intending to kill me no doubt.” He chuckled. “Naturally, I ended up piercing her. . .” he paused, “with my very own potent dagger.” He added with a wink.

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